


looking at you (is feathers on the sea)

by goldfwish



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Eye Contact, Fluff, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Metaphors, Unresolved Tension, blue eyes are cliche but it's ok they're japanese so it's special, they're so stupid i love them so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26512579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldfwish/pseuds/goldfwish
Summary: Maybe Kageyama looking at him,reallylooking at him, made him feel squirmy and uncomfortable and weird, but Kageyama not even glancing at him makes him feel… staticy, like a ball of ice is being rubbed against his ribs over and over in his chest. He feels like crying, a little, because just because Hinata had run away doesn’t mean he wantedthis. He was just scared, didn’t Kageyama know that? He still wants to talk to Kageyama, and look at him, and play volleyball with him, and walk with him and get food with him and bury his face in his chest and dig his fingers into his sides to make him laugh angrily.He wants to see Kageyama’s eyes again.Oh.(The two dorks have a crush on each other and Hinata really likes Kageyama's eyes.)
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 14
Kudos: 143





	looking at you (is feathers on the sea)

**Author's Note:**

> First Haikyuu fic !! I watched it and was in the fandom a few years ago when the first season was still airing, but I only recently rewatched it and then read the manga and had the hq brainrot set in fully,, I love Hinata with my whole heart,, Brazil Hinata lives in my mind rent free,,,, but that fic is for another time
> 
> Anyway here's some kagehina, set sometime during first year probably, but I wasn't really thinking about canon when I was writing it
> 
> Enjoy!

Kageyama’s eyes are blue. This is a fact, and one Hinata knows well, since he looks at them every day. They’re blue; not startlingly so, like the Americans in the movies, but just enough that it’s noticeable, just enough so it catches Hinata off guard every day. Every day, Hinata looks at Kageyama, and Kageyama looks at Hinata, and together they’re always looking at each other, watching the other’s movements during practice, making sure they’re performing at their best.

To Hinata, Kageyama’s eyes mean competition, telling him to run faster, jump harder, be better. Looking into his eyes is an act of courage, and strength, and defiance. The blue glares at him like an ocean, and Hinata revels in the challenge to swim in it.

But more than that, looking into Kageyama’s eyes means looking at _Kageyama_ , at his thoughts, his moods, his unspoken words. They’re always looking at each other, and every time they do, it’s a moment of communication, a second of connection. In sync, always. 

They’re always looking at each other. So it’s really no surprise when the inevitable happens, and the boundaries of their relationship start to change. The tide shifts eventually, after all.

———

They’re lingering in the gym after a practice game with Nekoma, and though the sun has already gone down, Hinata is in the gym with Kenma, making him toss to him while Kageyama lingers by the sidelines and watches.

He and Kageyama had been practicing together earlier, but when Kenma had passed by and asked what they were doing, Hinata had let his excitement take over and dragged him onto the court, loudly demanding tosses that Kenma had no choice, really, but to give. 

And so Hinata steps back and tosses a ball up to Kenma, and as he runs up, he feels Kageyama’s gaze tracking him, watching him jump and spike the toss. When it lands on the other side of the court with a _wham!_ Hinata whoops and grins, turning to Kenma with his hands raised.

Kenma returns the high fives somewhat apathetically, but that’s okay, because the small smile he gives Hinata tells him he’s enjoying himself. Hinata pulls back to grab another ball, and as he does, he catches Kageyama’s eyes.

The look in them is sharp, as usual, but there’s something else there, too. Something softer, something questioning. Something contemplative. Hinata looks away.

When they finally wrap up for the night, getting ready to go home and Hinata’s muscles burning satisfyingly, Kageyama grabs Hinata and pulls him aside. “How were his tosses,” he asks, and though his face is blank his eyes bore into Hinata’s, and their blue is wobbly and unsure, the way the tide is after the moon sets. _Were his tosses better than mine_ , his eyes whisper, and Hinata reels with the silent revelation.

He thinks of many things he could say in that moment, like _I think you’re amazing_ or _I like yours the best_ , but Hinata just beams up at him, tells him, “Don’t worry, your tosses are still the scariest, Kageyama!” and the scuffle and hair grabbing that ensues afterward distracts Hinata from Kageyama’s eyes. How they had widened when Hinata had smiled. How they had brightened when he’d called his tosses scariest.

That night, Hinata falls asleep fitfully, fingers slowly tracing the beams of light the moon makes on his wrinkled bed sheets. 

———

A few days later has them playing a practice game against an unfamiliar school, and though the team knows they’ve been getting better every day, today it shows more than ever. They’re calm and collected and connected, and they win the first set and bring the second to 15-12. Hinata’s in the front again, and his heart is beating fast, and he’s having fun.

He and Kageyama are especially in sync, Hinata hyper aware of where Kageyama is on the court, tuned into him, as a shore to its ocean. The ball flies to Daichi, and Kageyama takes position, and Hinata runs, and jumps, and time slows, and with a tilt of his head, he’s looking at Kageyama. And maybe it’s because he’s jumping well today, or maybe it’s because he’s about to spike, his favorite thing in the world to do, but Hinata swears he can feel the adrenaline in his veins pump even harder at their eye contact, and it’s _exhilarating_.

He almost misses the spike because of it, but he manages to push the ball through the blockers, and when he lands on his feet again, he’s panting. He’s smiling so hard his heart is bursting with the force of it, and the opposite team calls a time out. Yachi hands him a water bottle, and when he goes to drink, he squeezes it too hard too fast, and some of it drips down his chin, rolling down into the crevices of his collarbone.

Hinata feels a tingle in his periphery, and when he looks over, Kageyama is standing with his own water bottle halfway lifted, looking at Hinata. Looking at his neck. A sweat drop slides down the side of Hinata’s jaw, and as Kageyama’s eyes follow it, Hinata stares at Kageyama’s face. At his rapt focus and the blue, so much darker under the harsh gym lights.

Hinata is warm.

He was warm before, with exercise and movement, but he’s getting warmer now, and his neck is itching like his blood is running to the surface, redness making itself known. Hinata feels like he wants to run away too, or make a weird noise, maybe.

A whistle blows before he can do either of those things, though, and they both turn away to take their positions back on the court.

Hinata’s still warm.

———

The gym is closed today, and they’re supposed to be taking a break from volleyball, so of course they end up at the park after school passing a ball back and forth.

The sun is low and getting lower, dusk coloring the sky cozy and yellow. The grass beneath Hinata’s sneakers is soft, but not soft enough that it doesn’t still hurt when he misses a receive and ends up with a faceful of volleyball, falling hard on his back. Kageyama, of course, yells at him, but he doesn’t sound as angry as he normally might. 

Hinata stands and brushes off stray grass from his shorts, and when he looks up, Kageyama is right there, standing closer than before, shoulders tense. His hands are stretched out slightly, like he was about to help Hinata stand up. When their eyes meet, he drops his arms. 

And maybe it’s the time of day, with the sun large and golden, or maybe it’s the silence, the peaceful quiet of the park broken only by the crickets starting to sing, but Hinata is starting to feel weird. Kageyama doesn’t say anything, and neither does Hinata, and they’ve been looking into each other’s eyes for a while, and the sky is orange and the grass is green and Kageyama’s eyes are blue. Hinata can’t look away.

“What?” he finally says.

“I like you,” Kageyama replies, and Hinata’s not surprised, not really, but he inhales too fast and chokes anyway because it came out of nowhere and—

“Why would you just say that so suddenly?!” 

And Kageyama is scowling now, but he doesn’t try to grab Hinata’s hair or his arms or anything. He just stays there, standing and looking and _waiting_ , and Hinata has his mouth open, not knowing what to do.

_He probably wants an answer_ , his brain thinks helpfully.

Except it’s hard to answer when Kageyama’s eyes look like that, and maybe they’re always looking at each other but they’ve never _looked_ at each other like they are now and it’s… weird. And squirmy. And uncomfortable, and warm, and Hinata doesn’t know what’s happening to him. “I— I’m—” Hinata says, and he’s always been good at talking to people but he knows nothing when it comes to love and he has to leave, he has to go, _right now_. So he turns and breaks eye contact and oh, that feels weird too. 

If looking at Kageyama is the undulating push and shove of storming waves, then not looking at him is the empty air in front of a high branch, cold and uncertain. But Hinata is a crow and his feathers are drifting and maybe he’s making a mistake, but the squirmy warm feeling is still there and when crows feel like they’re in danger, they take flight.

So Hinata runs away, stuttering out a “Just remembered I have a thing, gotta go, bye!” behind his shoulder. And the feather blows away, out of sight.

———

The next day Hinata is jittery, more so than usual. He doesn’t want to see Kageyama today, doesn’t want to think about the _I like you_ and the weird warm feeling and the way his heart squeezes when he looks at him. He thinks he’s ill, maybe. He feels like he does before a game, but with less excitement and a lot more confusion. He’d rather avoid Kageyama altogether, but they still have practice, and missing practice would be like missing a limb, so he sucks it up and braces himself for awkwardness.

Except when practice starts, it isn’t awkward at all, because Kageyama doesn’t even acknowledge him. He practices serves on his own the whole time, and every time Hinata looks over, he’s turned away, or has his eyes fixed resolutely on the ball, or closed as he wipes sweat from his forehead. Hinata hates it.

Maybe Kageyama looking at him, _really_ looking at him, made him feel squirmy and uncomfortable and weird, but Kageyama not even glancing at him makes him feel… staticy, like a ball of ice is being rubbed against his ribs over and over in his chest. He feels like crying, a little, because just because Hinata had run away doesn’t mean he wanted _this_. He was just scared, didn’t Kageyama know that? He still wants to talk to Kageyama, and look at him, and play volleyball with him, and walk with him and get food with him and bury his face in his chest and dig his fingers into his sides to make him laugh angrily. 

He wants to see Kageyama’s eyes again. 

Oh.

Maybe Hinata’s an idiot. 

———

The rest of the day Hinata is distracted in his seat, tapping his pencil and thinking about what he should say to Kageyama. _I want to see your eyes_ doesn’t sound right, and _I want to look at you more_ sounds creepy.

Maybe: _Your eyes are so blue I could drown in them. Isn’t that cliche, Kageyama?_

Maybe: _Your eyes are so blue I could drown in them, but instead of drowning me, it’s like you push me up, make me want to do better._

Maybe: _I want to be better for you, Kageyama._

Or maybe Hinata could just hold his hand. He likes Kageyama’s hands too, and that’s something people who like each other do, right?

And on and on and on, Hinata daydreaming and muttering to himself. His teacher calls on him twice, and twice he doesn’t know the answer, and twice the class laughs at him, but that’s okay. Even when afternoon practice goes the same as morning practice did, the ball of ice in Hinata’s chest isn’t quite so cold, because he knows what he wants to do now.

When practice is over, the sun has set already, and the moon is out. Despite them ignoring each other the whole day, Kageyama still falls into step beside Hinata, starting on the walk toward home. They make it about halfway from where their paths split, both of them silent save for their footsteps and Hinata’s rattling bike chain, when Hinata suddenly gets a burst of energy, impatience growing in his stomach. He makes a noise that’s something like a groan or a growl, and grabs Kageyama to pull him in front of him so they’re looking at each other. Hinata’s eyes are bright and defiant, and Kageyama’s are wide, and so, so blue.

They’re in a quiet street, and it’s awkward, with the silence and one of Hinata’s hands gripping Kageyama’s sleeve while the other tries to balance his bike. His mind is blank, all the words he thought of in class gone. Kageyama is starting to look at him funny, and he should probably say something soon. Anything, really, just say something, say something, say something—

“I like you too!” Hinata blurts. Shouts, really. The words are loud, made louder by the way Kageyama immediately tenses, his ears lighting up and his eyes going even wider and it looks like he’s stopped breathing but Hinata can’t really tell because he’s not breathing either.

“Oh,” Kageyama says.

“Yeah,” Hinata replies, and it comes out breathy, punched out of him.

“Are you sure?” Kageyama asks, and it’s such a stupid question that Hinata’s nervousness evaporates for a moment as he sucks in a breath and yells at him.

“What? Of course I’m sure! What kind of question is that? Stupid Kageyama!” 

“Oh,” Kageyama says. Then, after a pause: “Okay.” And he’s staring at Hinata, like he’s not sure what’s happening is real. Hinata can sympathize.

And then it goes quiet again, and Hinata’s nervousness comes back, and they’re both blushing but they’re still looking at each other, refusing to look away.

“...What now?” Kageyama asks, and Hinata blushes harder, and it feels like they’ve probably missed a few steps somewhere but he’s stupidly happy anyway. He huffs a laugh and lets go of Kageyama’s sleeve to nudge him with his shoulder.

“Buy me meat buns,” he says, grinning.

Kageyama frowns at him. “What? Why would I buy you meat buns?”

“Because we like each other!” 

As the words leave Hinata’s mouth, Kageyama softens, and smiles, just a little bit, and Hinata feels the warm squirmy feeling come back full force, starting in his ribs and spreading to every part of him, until even his fingertips are tingling with it. He thinks he likes it this time.

“I have no money, dumbass,” Kageyama mutters. “I spent it all last time we got meat buns.”

“Oh.” And here Hinata pauses, and takes a breath, and tries to calm the wild beating of his heart. It doesn’t work, but the tingling and the warmth makes him brave anyway. “Kiss me then.”

And he feels himself flush a bright, bright red, but it’s okay because Kageyama is red too, tomato sunset red, and then Hinata is dropping his bike and holding onto the front of Kageyama’s shirt with his shaking hands and hopping on his tiptoes and demanding “Kiss! Kiss!” in an obnoxious voice to tease him, and to try to distract himself from his own embarrassment.

But then Kageyama gets annoyed and forces Hinata still by squeezing onto his shoulders, and he leans down quick to press his lips against Hinata’s, effectively shutting him up. Hinata’s never kissed anyone before, and Kageyama’s lips feel kind of weird, but they’re soft, and Hinata isn’t embarrassed anymore, he’s just _warm_ , and he holds on tighter to Kageyama’s shirt because he feels like he might fall over if he doesn’t have something to hold him up.

It’s silly, and doesn’t last long, but it’s still a kiss and Hinata feels radiant with it, feels the warmth in the places Kageyama had touched him even after they pull away. He looks up at Kageyama, and finds him already looking back, blueblueblue. The moon lights up in his eyes, and Hinata thinks it isn’t fair, that Kageyama gets to make him feel like this just by looking at him, like liquid and melted ice and the giddy rush of high tide. Like a bird gliding high above the waves. 

But maybe here, standing and looking at Kageyama in a quiet street under the moon, with the squirmy warm feeling in his chest and a happy laugh bubbling up in his throat, Hinata can forgive him.

That night, Hinata falls asleep slowly and deeply, warm and content and dreaming of feathers on the sea.


End file.
